Suave's Republique Cricket

Now kids, you’ve signed a new deal with sportswear manufacturers Canterbury for a new kit and kaboodle.

You look to your squad of players, and think “who would look good in this, and model this kit to it’s best”.

I know that most of my lovely lady readers would pick Daniel Vettori, maybe Brendan McCullum as a bit of rough?

I don’t know, I understand less about womens minds than I do global economics, and complex Belgian politics.

They're SuperMegaFugly's with a bastard arsehole twist

But Scott Styris, fucking hell, he looks like he comes from a very small gene pool.

Chris Martin’s not too bad, but surely they could have come up with two better looking fella’s than that?!

Stupid Kiwis