The Ashes 2009, First test, six word review
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July 14, 2009, 12:41 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Andrew Strauss, Ashes, Ashes 2009, australia, Cricket, England, Greame Swann, james anderson, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior, Monty Panesar, Nathan Hauritz, paul collingwood, Ravi Bopara, Six Word Reviews, stuart broad
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Andrew Strauss, Ashes, Ashes 2009, australia, Cricket, England, Greame Swann, james anderson, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior, Monty Panesar, Nathan Hauritz, paul collingwood, Ravi Bopara, Six Word Reviews, stuart broad
Here we are again, with Suave’s six word reviews. Australia to come this afternoon.
Andrew Strauss
Piss poor captaincy, shit with bat.
Alastair Cook
Fucking piss-weak, public school cunt.
Ravi Bopara
Outwitted, then fucked over by Doctrove
Kevin Pietersen
Look at me, stupid ego cunt.
Paul Collingwood
Gritty street fighter, better than spinners
Matt Prior
looks OK, no smashing just yet.
Andrew Flintoff
Bowled into ground, now fucking crocked.
Stuart Broad
Can’t bowl for shit, find length!!!
Greame Swann
Worse than Hauritz. One funny fucker.
James Anderson
Batting supremo. Pitch it up, wanker!
Monty Panesar
Too quick, no variation, soon gone.
13 Comments so far
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Spot on old chap, nice one!
Comment by SixSixEight July 14, 2009 @ 5:53 pmLooking forward to the Aussie commentary. A bit harsh on some, but very accurate on others.
Comment by Brick Paver July 17, 2009 @ 1:37 amSorry Bricky.. It will be coming soon, I promise. Been busier than a busy bee, who’s having a particularly busy week, due to holidays and swine flu and lazy colleagues!
Comment by Suave July 17, 2009 @ 1:22 pmBrilliant and telling use of wide and varied vocabulary. Well thought out rational assessments. I assume you’ll be signed up by the Guardian sports supplement pretty soon. Well done.
Comment by John July 17, 2009 @ 1:15 pmBrilliant! Thanks John, I look forward to working alongside such luminaries as Lawrence Booth & Mike Selvey soon!
Comment by Suave July 17, 2009 @ 1:22 pmPersonally I’d rotate you and J-Rod on the Guardian’s/Times’s pages on a weekly basis. Maybe that’s why I’m not a commissioning editor. Although 66 words is a bit short for a column!
Comment by nigel July 18, 2009 @ 12:15 amThanks Nigel… Very nice of you to say. If there are any Guardian or Times commissioning editors out there, I can stop swearing, but only if I’m paid.
Comment by Suave July 19, 2009 @ 8:01 pmGuardian/cricket is tripe these days. Over-the-top purple prose, hype and just too clever for words tripe. It feels like a public schoolboys’ club. Yuck.
Comment by Lula July 20, 2009 @ 9:55 pmLula – Every sports writer is trying to outdo the other in all the so-called “quality” papers these days – it’s a club for big egos …if you don’t like reading it, you should try sub-editing it!
Comment by nigel July 21, 2009 @ 4:17 pmSmall suggestion Suavey. But it may involve you getting off your butt and working for a few minutes. So take it however you will. Can we get some little photoshopped pics of you either Hulk-smashing the sucker or sharing a gap-toothed smile and beer with whoever you bag or praise?
Comment by horatius July 24, 2009 @ 5:22 pmten wickets by way of catches, hit the ball along the ground you silly f*ckas!!!
Comment by IronBottom August 8, 2009 @ 5:15 pmbull-ant my arse the lot of you…none of you have a clue about the great game!
Comment by jimmy43 August 13, 2009 @ 5:41 amBull-Ant my arse the lot of you…Not one of you has a clue about the great game!
Comment by jimmy43 August 13, 2009 @ 5:42 am